Today marks 3 years of being married to the girl of my dreams. 3 years of joy and struggles, excitement and frustration, happiness and anger, laughter and tears. Yes, it's been up and down, but I wouldn't trade a single minute of married life to this women that God predestined to be my wife. I don't mean to sound negative, just honest. Marriage is hard. Marriage is a struggle. The truth of it is, we're two sinners trying to live together and do life together. We're not perfect (didn't take us very long to figure that out about each other), but God has been abundantly gracious. The other side is just as true if not more so, marriage is fun! I think back on the many times where we've just enjoyed being married to each other. Conversations, date nights, laughing together, praying together, doing ministry together, traveling together, worshipping together. I truly mean it when I say I wouldn't trade a single minute of the past 3 years. Yes, there are times that I wish I could take back how I acted, what I said, what I did (I know Jennifer feels the same about herself) but I also know that we both believe those times that weren't so fun, times that were hard and frustrating, have made us into the people and the couple that we are today. It is amazing how God shows His grace and sovereignty in the lives of sinful, selfish people.
As I look back to May 14, 2011, I remember the excitement and the nerves I felt all day. I remember waking up and thinking my life is never going to be the same. I remember the anxiety that I felt I as got ready. It was such a surreal feeling. I remember thinking of pictures of my parents and grandparents on their wedding days and thinking about how precious those memories are. Then I realized, as I put my tux on, I'm about to take those same pictures that I will some day show my kids and grandkids. We took some pictures, then came the worst part of my day. Pictures for me were over until after the ceremony, but my groomsmen were still taking pictures with Jennifer and the bridesmaids. Which left me by myself to just sit and think about what was to come in just about an hour or so (while I ate a leftover brisket sandwich). That was the longest hour of my life. I remember just pacing and thinking about what it was going to be like to see those doors open and to see my bride coming down the isle, presenting herself to me. After a while, my best man came in, after taking some pictures with Jennifer, and said to me, "Man, she is beautiful." This just made my anxiety and my excitement rise. 3:00pm couldn't get here fast enough.
3:00pm did finally arrive and the ceremony started. I escorted my grandparents and parents to their seats then joined the Pastor and my groomsmen back stage. We came out and found our places on the stage. Each bridesmaid made her way down the isle looking beautiful. Then came the spot in the song that we planned out awhile back where I was to move over in front of the isle. I walked over, turned to the back of the auditorium, and looked back to two closed doors with Jennifer's cousins standing in the windows like body guards so I couldn't her before the right time. The audience stood, the "body guards" moved, the doors were opened and there she stood. My bride. She was breathtaking. She and my father-in-law began to make their way down the isle towards me. I remember saying out loud, "Wow!". I remember the feeling of thinking, "She's mine!". Then I remember thinking, "I don't deserve this." Jennifer had kept herself pure for me (we even had a moment in the ceremony where she presented me with the purity ring she had worn for years as a commitment to me before I put her wedding ring on her finger). She had lived a life commited to me even when she didn't know me. She never compromised herself, saving herself for her husband. What a testimony.
As I sit here and type and reminisce, I'm reminded of the gospel. I'm reminded that one day we will be presented as the bride of Christ to our Savior. As I remember the way I felt as my bride was being presented to me, I am challenged to live my life in such a way that Jesus will feel the same way about me as I am presented to Him. I also recall the joy I felt as I knew Jennifer had kept herself pure for me. Romans 12:1 tells us to present ourselves as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to Him. Ephesians 5 tells us that the testimony of marriage should point people to the gospel. I want to fulfill that and love my wife everyday the same way Christ loves me everyday. I also know the heart of my wife is to submit to me the way we, as the church, submit to Christ. Our prayer together is that in all of the years the Lord has for us in marriage, we will portray the gospel to the world.
The church will be presented to and united with Him one day. May we live in a way that is pleasing to Him so that as we are presented to Him, He is overjoyed. May we live the gospel everyday.
I love you, Jennifer. Happy Anniversary!
